That afternoon, after they had eaten their rice lunch, John called Essay on the radio. "Essay, I've decided we should really talk face to face and clear up anything that needs clearing up. I also have several documents on safety precautions, instructions on how to light a fire in torrential downpour, a book on leadership and two or three other tools I think will be helpful. how do you feel about a visit?"
Essay tole RIOT about John's plan to come and see them - but instead of feeling excited, most of the kids and the other three leaders were nervous. Riggs turned white as a ghost when she heard the news. "I have a better idea," Giggie spoke up, trembling. "How 'bout you go and talk with John and we will wait here with the kids? We'll just... talk to each other...?"
John Friesen came streaming across Mary Lake on MBC's brand new hovercraft. He was followed by a cloud (of mist) and even from a distance you could tell he was headed somewhere with purpose. Sensé, Riggs and Giggie pushed Essay's canoe out onto the lake. "Quick," Sensé called out, "wash your hands, gather up that trash and try and look respectable! They we'll go do something fun." Essay turned around. "Just don't play any contact games until I find out what the rules are, okay? Err... just to be sure, don't play any games until I get back. I shouldn't be that long anyway - why don't you try and build something?"
Essay met John on the water a few minutes later. "Okay," John began. "Let's get to it, shall we?" For four hours John taught Essay everything she would need to know to finish the island trip well. He trained her in First Aid, he showed her what kind of berries they could eat and which ones to avoid, he gave instructions on how to build the best and strongest tents and how to boost the signal on her walkie-talkie. He also reminded her of the dress codes an emphasized that even though it was very hot that she and her team needed to maintain the appropriate conduct for leaders as outlined in the summer staff handbook. Finally, John handed over a long, hand written document that summarized every last detail of what he had just told her. Then Essay got back in her canoe and drifted back to the island, while John headed to Mini-Yo-We to discuss their offensively offensive attack. And to visit. Just before Essay was out of earshot, John called out to her. "If your people rebel, I will deal with them when you get back to Camp. Make sure they listen or there will be severe consequences for them and their families!" "Don't be too harsh with them, sir," Essay advocated. "I know they will listen anyway - just let me talk to them." "Essay, don't compromise the rules. If they disobey, send them straight home."
While Essay was out on the water with John the RIOT kids had gotten restless. The girls approached Sensé because it seemed to everyone that he had been left in charge. "Seeeennséé...." they began, batting their eyelashes and trying to look cute. "Can we please, please, please play a game?" He thought for a moment. "Okay... but we need to come up with a way of deciding fairly. How about we make one of those... you know? The things with the squares?" Chloe threw her hand up into the air. "A cootie catcher!"
Monday, February 22, 2010
Exiting Us: Part Two
At the island Essay made sure that the ground rules clearly included talking to John Friesen more frequently. Everyone in RIOT had been reassured of John's leadership skills (after all, anyone with perfect arching accuracy is someone worth paying attention to). Essay was also pretty on-the-ball, so their dedication and focus was given, for a time.
As with any group of ten-to-thirteen-year-olds, their attention began to wander when they realized just how small Widji Island really was. There was no running water. In fact, with the supplies dumped out in order to get more people into less canoes, there was no clean water at all. And no food. And no fire. So far luck was with them...
Helga led the chorus of whiners in several out-of-tune rounds of "It's a Hard Knock Life" from Annie and a few boys decided it was a good idea to squirt the dirty lake water at Giggie through their teeth. "What are we supposed to drink, Essay?"
She hadn't thought this through yet. Widjiitiwin Island was deceptively far away from the MBC shores and a return trip would take way to long for water. Essay grabbed the walkie-talkie from her backpack. "John?" No response. "John!" Riggs figured out that the radio was of the short-wave variety but her explanation of the electronic mechanics behind the whole system was so advanced that only Mike Fondse would have been able to understand. "Basically," she summarized, "You'll have to get closer and probably quieter to communicate. Why don't you float off shore a bit?"
So Essay took the walkie-talkie and headed out to talk to John. Before to long his voice came over the radio waves, loud and clear and calm. "I'm here, Essay. What's going on at the island?"
Chaos!" she admitted. "There is no water! What am I going to do?! I can't just come back!" But John was, as usual, way ahead of her. "I put some water purifying kits into the backpack you were carrying around on Monday. I knew they would come in handy eventually. It's a chemical thing - you just pour them into the water like Kool-Aid and it's okay to drink. Just make sure you ration them."
Essay paddled back to shore and showed the kits to her team. They decided to have a volunteer try the water first, just to make sure it was good, and Zack was the first to shoot up his hand. "It tastes a little like soap... but it's kind of sweet too." Then he poured the rest of the can he was drinking from over his face and smiled. Before long everyone was drinking the sweet and sudsy freshwater liquid from reused juice boxes, old cans found around the fire pit and anything else they could find that wouldn't leak. As the day got hotter and the sun got brighter, the people got restless and hungry. Water wasn't enough anymore. "Essay, what are we going to eat?!"
Essay, once again at the end of her rope and without any creative solutions of her own, jumped into the docked canoe and pushed off, walkie-talkie in hand. "John, they are getting hungry and grouchy and I have nothing to give them! One of my boys was talking about roasting up his flip-flop if I didn't come up with something soon - and I don't think he was kidding! Any ideas?"
John didn't miss a beat. "I've got an idea and I'll get Program on it immediately. You know the giant catapult we've been using on beach day? The water balloon one. Well, I've always wanted to try something on a bigger scale." John explained the rest of his plan and told Essay to go and get the kids ready for their meal. In a half an hour every RIOT member was wading in the water up to their belly buttons, waiting for lunch. "I feel ridiculous," Max said to Adam and Larissa. They shushed him as Essay walked out in front of the group.
Okay. I know some of you may be feeling a little ridiculous, but John has promised me that he is going to send food falling from the sky - so pay attention and keep your eyes on the horizon!" For a moment nothing happened... little did they know that there was an epic feat of brilliance going on right across the lake...
Chief, Wingspan, Gritz and Jemima were putting John's master plan into action. With the help of Ruben and his truck they had constructed a catapult (built mainly out of surgical tubing, balloons, rubber bands and extremely congealed spaghetti) that stretched back from two huge trees at the beach - one near the marina and the other by the swing set. The elastic part was pulled overtop of the docked boats, reached past the chained road block and was pulled almost all the way to Widji Road. In the basket (borrowed from housekeeping who was still out with several cases of swimmers ear), John himself placed the first care package. It was filled with chocolate bars, hot dogs, marshmallows, potato chips and rice. The rice was for the main dish - the other things were intended to mix into the rice and flavour it up a bit. When it was time to send it over, John gave the signal and Ruben let it fly.
Up and over the water the care package flew. In less than three minutes from it's launch at Widji Road the giant bag filled with supplies shot into view growing (it seemed) larger every second. With a HUGE splash their gifts landed just two feet in front of Essay. With lake water so far up her nose that she was a little worried about brain damage, Essay proudly hauled the bag back to shore. "See," she smiled in spite of her obviously pained, squinty expression, "John's got out back. It's even in a waterproof bag!"
For the next few hours everyone drank their water and ate their provisions with a song in their heart and a skip in their step. they played a few games and wrote a few cheers for John Friesen (to be recited when they finally returned to MBC mainland). After dinnertime, however, with nothing left to eat except flavourless rice and with every last purifying package used, RIOT got a little grumbly and sent Giggie to talk with Essay. "Ess, we need a better solution than water cleansers if we are going to stay here for long."
Essay climbed into her boat and went out to talk with John once more. "What am I supposed to do with these kids?" Once again John had been thinking ahead. "I've been working on figuring out that problem since I first heard you wanted to go. Tetnus has done some research and now I can tell you exactly what to do. Listen carefully..."
After she said her thank-yous and good-byes to John Essay headed back to the camp. The RIOT kids were planning a midnight canoe back to mainland, but Essay convinced them to stay and watch what would happen next. She took her paddle, marched over to a tree on the far side of the island and before anyone could protest or try and stop her she slashed the tree - HARD - with the thin wooden blade of her weapon. The tree shook and the paddle stuck deep into the bark as though it had been an axe, not an oar. RIOT gasped. Never before had they seen Essay do something so brash. Before she even had time to explain herself the sap began to flow. This rare, off-season maple tree was pouring out fresh, sweet sappy water at a quick and steady rate. "Don't doubt John and his resources, people," Essay said as she filled their vessels. "He knows what's up."
That night everyone slept as soundly as possible, considering that they had no blankets or pillows or toothbrushes or... well, anything, really. In the morning, Essay found another food package bobbing up and down in the water just off shore. They rejoiced over a fresh round of food, this one containing cinnamon buns and boxes of cereal along with more rice and hot dogs. All went well, until ten o'clock when they heard a strange sound... from the water, or rather from out on top of the water, came what sounded like shouts of war! Mini-Yo-We was attacking!!
"Battle of the camps, MBC!" Asterix and his crew shouted. "We're going to pirate this island for MYW so we can host a Survivor Day all our own! Into your ships and back to your beaches, RIOT!"
Essay pulled her thoughts together quickly. "Sensé!" She tossed him her paddle and grabbed the emergency kit tied to her canoe. "Take two boats of our strongest, fastest and most annoying kids. If we're going to keep this island you'll have to tip them!"
Sensé grabbed James, Ethan, Matt Bykiv and Denver along with a few others and headed out to meet Mini-Yo-We's navy. Meanwhile, Essay got some of the girls to gather up the small mirrors from each emergency kit. She then taped then to her canoe's other paddle and held in above her head, facing the oncoming canoers. The glass reflected the sunlight perfectly, right into their attackers eyes! Between the light they couldn't avoid and the distracting trumpet blasts from Matt's toy horn, the other camp didn't stand a chance. Billy-Diana held up Essays arms when she got tired and before long two of Mini-Yo-We's boats were tipped. They managed to rescue their watercrafts just before they sank into the depths of Mary Lake, but the remaining boats were in no shape to continue a fight. Astrix and his would-be pirates paddled back to their home shores, embarrassed, defeated and sopping wet. As they were leaving Essay called John and told him their story. "That's great!" he said, almost too proudly. "You should write that down and use it as a story or something one day - it is definitely an encounter worth remembering!"
As with any group of ten-to-thirteen-year-olds, their attention began to wander when they realized just how small Widji Island really was. There was no running water. In fact, with the supplies dumped out in order to get more people into less canoes, there was no clean water at all. And no food. And no fire. So far luck was with them...
Helga led the chorus of whiners in several out-of-tune rounds of "It's a Hard Knock Life" from Annie and a few boys decided it was a good idea to squirt the dirty lake water at Giggie through their teeth. "What are we supposed to drink, Essay?"
She hadn't thought this through yet. Widjiitiwin Island was deceptively far away from the MBC shores and a return trip would take way to long for water. Essay grabbed the walkie-talkie from her backpack. "John?" No response. "John!" Riggs figured out that the radio was of the short-wave variety but her explanation of the electronic mechanics behind the whole system was so advanced that only Mike Fondse would have been able to understand. "Basically," she summarized, "You'll have to get closer and probably quieter to communicate. Why don't you float off shore a bit?"
So Essay took the walkie-talkie and headed out to talk to John. Before to long his voice came over the radio waves, loud and clear and calm. "I'm here, Essay. What's going on at the island?"
Chaos!" she admitted. "There is no water! What am I going to do?! I can't just come back!" But John was, as usual, way ahead of her. "I put some water purifying kits into the backpack you were carrying around on Monday. I knew they would come in handy eventually. It's a chemical thing - you just pour them into the water like Kool-Aid and it's okay to drink. Just make sure you ration them."
Essay paddled back to shore and showed the kits to her team. They decided to have a volunteer try the water first, just to make sure it was good, and Zack was the first to shoot up his hand. "It tastes a little like soap... but it's kind of sweet too." Then he poured the rest of the can he was drinking from over his face and smiled. Before long everyone was drinking the sweet and sudsy freshwater liquid from reused juice boxes, old cans found around the fire pit and anything else they could find that wouldn't leak. As the day got hotter and the sun got brighter, the people got restless and hungry. Water wasn't enough anymore. "Essay, what are we going to eat?!"
Essay, once again at the end of her rope and without any creative solutions of her own, jumped into the docked canoe and pushed off, walkie-talkie in hand. "John, they are getting hungry and grouchy and I have nothing to give them! One of my boys was talking about roasting up his flip-flop if I didn't come up with something soon - and I don't think he was kidding! Any ideas?"
John didn't miss a beat. "I've got an idea and I'll get Program on it immediately. You know the giant catapult we've been using on beach day? The water balloon one. Well, I've always wanted to try something on a bigger scale." John explained the rest of his plan and told Essay to go and get the kids ready for their meal. In a half an hour every RIOT member was wading in the water up to their belly buttons, waiting for lunch. "I feel ridiculous," Max said to Adam and Larissa. They shushed him as Essay walked out in front of the group.
Okay. I know some of you may be feeling a little ridiculous, but John has promised me that he is going to send food falling from the sky - so pay attention and keep your eyes on the horizon!" For a moment nothing happened... little did they know that there was an epic feat of brilliance going on right across the lake...
Chief, Wingspan, Gritz and Jemima were putting John's master plan into action. With the help of Ruben and his truck they had constructed a catapult (built mainly out of surgical tubing, balloons, rubber bands and extremely congealed spaghetti) that stretched back from two huge trees at the beach - one near the marina and the other by the swing set. The elastic part was pulled overtop of the docked boats, reached past the chained road block and was pulled almost all the way to Widji Road. In the basket (borrowed from housekeeping who was still out with several cases of swimmers ear), John himself placed the first care package. It was filled with chocolate bars, hot dogs, marshmallows, potato chips and rice. The rice was for the main dish - the other things were intended to mix into the rice and flavour it up a bit. When it was time to send it over, John gave the signal and Ruben let it fly.
Up and over the water the care package flew. In less than three minutes from it's launch at Widji Road the giant bag filled with supplies shot into view growing (it seemed) larger every second. With a HUGE splash their gifts landed just two feet in front of Essay. With lake water so far up her nose that she was a little worried about brain damage, Essay proudly hauled the bag back to shore. "See," she smiled in spite of her obviously pained, squinty expression, "John's got out back. It's even in a waterproof bag!"
For the next few hours everyone drank their water and ate their provisions with a song in their heart and a skip in their step. they played a few games and wrote a few cheers for John Friesen (to be recited when they finally returned to MBC mainland). After dinnertime, however, with nothing left to eat except flavourless rice and with every last purifying package used, RIOT got a little grumbly and sent Giggie to talk with Essay. "Ess, we need a better solution than water cleansers if we are going to stay here for long."
Essay climbed into her boat and went out to talk with John once more. "What am I supposed to do with these kids?" Once again John had been thinking ahead. "I've been working on figuring out that problem since I first heard you wanted to go. Tetnus has done some research and now I can tell you exactly what to do. Listen carefully..."
After she said her thank-yous and good-byes to John Essay headed back to the camp. The RIOT kids were planning a midnight canoe back to mainland, but Essay convinced them to stay and watch what would happen next. She took her paddle, marched over to a tree on the far side of the island and before anyone could protest or try and stop her she slashed the tree - HARD - with the thin wooden blade of her weapon. The tree shook and the paddle stuck deep into the bark as though it had been an axe, not an oar. RIOT gasped. Never before had they seen Essay do something so brash. Before she even had time to explain herself the sap began to flow. This rare, off-season maple tree was pouring out fresh, sweet sappy water at a quick and steady rate. "Don't doubt John and his resources, people," Essay said as she filled their vessels. "He knows what's up."
That night everyone slept as soundly as possible, considering that they had no blankets or pillows or toothbrushes or... well, anything, really. In the morning, Essay found another food package bobbing up and down in the water just off shore. They rejoiced over a fresh round of food, this one containing cinnamon buns and boxes of cereal along with more rice and hot dogs. All went well, until ten o'clock when they heard a strange sound... from the water, or rather from out on top of the water, came what sounded like shouts of war! Mini-Yo-We was attacking!!
"Battle of the camps, MBC!" Asterix and his crew shouted. "We're going to pirate this island for MYW so we can host a Survivor Day all our own! Into your ships and back to your beaches, RIOT!"
Essay pulled her thoughts together quickly. "Sensé!" She tossed him her paddle and grabbed the emergency kit tied to her canoe. "Take two boats of our strongest, fastest and most annoying kids. If we're going to keep this island you'll have to tip them!"
Sensé grabbed James, Ethan, Matt Bykiv and Denver along with a few others and headed out to meet Mini-Yo-We's navy. Meanwhile, Essay got some of the girls to gather up the small mirrors from each emergency kit. She then taped then to her canoe's other paddle and held in above her head, facing the oncoming canoers. The glass reflected the sunlight perfectly, right into their attackers eyes! Between the light they couldn't avoid and the distracting trumpet blasts from Matt's toy horn, the other camp didn't stand a chance. Billy-Diana held up Essays arms when she got tired and before long two of Mini-Yo-We's boats were tipped. They managed to rescue their watercrafts just before they sank into the depths of Mary Lake, but the remaining boats were in no shape to continue a fight. Astrix and his would-be pirates paddled back to their home shores, embarrassed, defeated and sopping wet. As they were leaving Essay called John and told him their story. "That's great!" he said, almost too proudly. "You should write that down and use it as a story or something one day - it is definitely an encounter worth remembering!"
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Exiting Us: Part One
RIOT has always been the coolest place at Muskoka Bible Centre. Everyone has known this truth for years – the program is highly favoured, generally amazing and those people who are uninvolved are, naturally, quite green with envy. MBC leadership has also favoured RIOT for their dedication to the cause, brilliance in program and their friendly, creative, good looking staff. It also helped that RIOT’s leader, Essay, was on John Friesen’s good side. All in all you might say that RIOT had it made as far as the summers went... except for one thing.
MBC’s maintenance department had gotten a little bossy in 2009. Gord, the King of the Shop and Keeper of the Keys, had “enlisted” the help of the RIOT staff and kids. The more popular RIOT became, the more people Gord sought to use in his “volunteer” garden weeding army. Luckily for RIOT, John Friesen knows just about everything that goes on around the grounds, and he decided to help.
During Essay’s lesson one morning, John Friesen called her over the radio. “Essay, this is John. We need to talk.” Knowing that this conversation would require her full attention and a quiet space, Essay grabbed the walkie-talkie and left Sensé to lead a game of Poopdeck. She went outside and sat on the chair out front, facing the maintenance shop. Gord was by the Laundry room, watching her and awaiting the end of her conversation... waiting to pounce on the opportunity to trick her into helping again. "Essay," John said, drawing her attention back to the conversation at hand, "I need you to switch to Channel 4." She did and he continued. "Some of your kids came up to me at lunch today. What is this I hear about Gord and the gardens?" Essay quickly explained the situation from her perspective. "Okay. I will do what I can, but I'm off property all day today and tomorrow, so I need you to follow the following instructions to the letter. And don't worry - Gord works for me and we will work this out, whether you know how or not. Trust me."
For the next few minutes John Friesen told Essay what needed to be done to keep Gord from abusing his power over them. No sooner did she "Over and Out" than Gord slammed the door of his tell-tale blueish-green car, and walked across the parking lot. "Essay," he began in his quiet, grandfatherly way, "the gardens by Founders Hall are in need of a good weeding and I don't have the labour force to get it done today. Would you mind bringing your kids over and working on the flower beds for a few hours of program this morning?"
Essay cringed. She mustered her bravery together and gulped back the lump of intimidated fear that had grown in her throat. Remembering John's words she looked Gord in the eye. "No, Gord. My kids need to play, not work. They're here to learn and have fun! Please, give us a break for a session and let us go to the beach in peace!" Gord laughed. "Wow, finally standing up to me. How about I make you a deal... you and your kids go weed that garden and wash all of the windows on the ground floor, and we'll call it even for today." Essay blinked back tears and stammered out, "J-j-john says..." but Gord cut her off. "John Friesen's not the boss of me! We all know that I am the one who is keeping this place running. Now, go in there and explain your new responsibilities to all those little junior high kids. And do it with a smile."
Essay went back to RIOT with a smile on her face but with tears in her eyes. She handed out gloves and assigned a wheelbarrow to Giggie and Riggs and Sensé. Spades, shovels, squeegees and spray bottles of a copycat Windex glass cleaner were distributed among the scowling grade sixes, sevens and eights. In a single file line, with Gord waving from the maintenance shed, RIOT trooped down to Founders and worked right until lunchtime.
At noon Essay called John using her walkie-talkie on Channel 4. "John!" she cried. "Gord is being even meaner than usual. Now he's got us washing the windows, for crying out loud!" John, as always, was very calm. "Essay, you're still doing the right thing. I will send in reinforcements, but I'm afraid I'm still at Fair Havens until tomorrow. Tell Gord to knock it off or I'll have Program egg his car."
That evening Gord returned to Treetops with a honey-do list as long as his arm. "Okay, Essay. I thought up a few more things to keep RIOT out of trouble, and I think you might even enjoy the work! Scrubbing down all of the MBC vehicles, or taking out all of the kitchen garbage, or my favourite, cutting the grass with nail clippers! That last one is really just for my own entertainment." Essay got up on her tiptoes, trying to maximize every inch of her potential height. "Gord, you had better stop right there - or John Friesen is going to egg your car."
Gord laughed in her face for a long, long time.
When he finally pulled himself together, he did not even resemble the kindly, Cap'n Crunch loving, elderly man that everyone knew. He looked at her with an icy expression and without even a hint of irony or sarcasm he said, "I am going to make sure you never have another fun program as long as you live."
Essay took the list back into the RIOT room. As she let it drop to the floor, she shut the door behind her. Sensé picked it up and read it to the group. Squeeks stood up and said he thought the list was bogus. Reid and many others nodded quietly. "Well," said Essay, "I hope that John's got something a little more dramatic than egging up his sleeve."
John was indeed planning something far, far more dramatic. With the help of Chief and Wingspan, John not only had Gord's car egged in the middle of the night, but they also toilet papered his house, painted his car pink and yellow, died his hair green, uprooted every last flower in his own personal garden, ate his Cap'n Cruch and drank all but a teaspoon of his milk and set fire to his secret stash of fireworks, wasting them in the forest where only the two of them could see. Chief and Wingspan videotaped the whole thing and sent it to John (and Gord) the next morning.
John was ecstatic, Essay was so nervous her teeth were chattering and Gord was absolutely livid. He fumed over to RIOT headquarters and kicked the door open with one blow - at exactly ten o'clock. "FINE!" he hollered, throwing up his hands and knocking off the baseball cap that was covering the hair that was usually quite white. "TAKE YOUR BEACH DAY! I don't want your help anymore anyway! I never want to see you weed another thing in your lives! And here - here's fifty bucks for ice-cream while you're at it! Now, GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!"
Treetops was suddenly filled with shouts and cheers of joy and excited chaos. Quick as a whip they were packed up and marching boldly down to the waterfront.
It only took Gord about three minutes to realize his error. It was Jaime Brown who pointed out the problem first. "Won't this mean that we'll have to do the work ourselves?"
In a flash Gord had rounded up the entire maintenance department and even some of the gung-ho housekeeping staff. "Everybody grab something with wheels!" Trevor, Kevin and Ernie grabbed tractors. Kyle took a riding mower, Arthur detoured the hayride that was still full of Skippers, and Jamie grabbed a wheelbarrow... but then he swapped it in for a golf cart after Gord hit him upside the head with last year's Brutus stick for making a bad choice. The housekeepers took all of the vehicles with keys in the ignition (which was, not-so-surprisingly, most of them)and Gord lead the charge in his pink and yellow station wagon. The chase was on.
RIOT has been walking to the beach slowly until they heard the all too familiar honk of Gord's vehicle. With one look over her shoulder, Essay screamed "RUN!" and RIOT took off down Hub Hill, tumbling most of the way to the bottom. They were nearly mowed down by the mob of machinery behind them, but Gord's army had come via Founders Hall and was delayed by the chain which only served as a thirty second stall because Gord (of course) had the key. By the time RIOT made it to the Marina's little boat house, Gord was passing the Chip Truck at a frightening pace! Essay screamed frantically into the radio! "JOHN! WE NEED SOME BACK-UP!!!"
Out of nowhere Chief and Wingspan ran with rapid-fire paintball guns, sending weltable splatters of colour in every direction. Both of them were decked out from head to foot in redneck-camouflage-flannel-meets-ninja-stealth-black-leather body suits. They definitely looked intimidating. "Quick!" Chief shouted to Essay, "We've got 1000 paintballs here and then you're on your own again. Get to the canoes! Head for Widji Island!"
Essay hustled the RIOT kids into the canoes while she and Frooger grabbed kayaks. By the time Program ran out of paint they were already out past the floating docks and making good speed. Unfortunately Gord also had a key for the MBC boat. Maintenance and housekeeping held several quick rounds of rock-paper-scissors to decide who got to ride in the boat and everyone else jumped on the banana shaped tube that was trailing along behind it. The not-so-gentle man started his engine and tore onto the lake in hot pursuit.
Just then John Friesen drove Old Man Van across the beach and fishtailed to a stop. In a move that can only be compared to Robin Hood he pulled an arrow back on the string of a large compound bow and let it fly. Program gasped as the arrow pierced a perfect hole right through the motor, causing the engine to flood and the boat to begin to sink. His next arrow shot the tube and sent everyone aboard flying into Mary Lake. When Gord finally swam back to shore John took back all of his keys, fired him and banished him from MBC property forever. RIOT got safely to the island.
MBC’s maintenance department had gotten a little bossy in 2009. Gord, the King of the Shop and Keeper of the Keys, had “enlisted” the help of the RIOT staff and kids. The more popular RIOT became, the more people Gord sought to use in his “volunteer” garden weeding army. Luckily for RIOT, John Friesen knows just about everything that goes on around the grounds, and he decided to help.
During Essay’s lesson one morning, John Friesen called her over the radio. “Essay, this is John. We need to talk.” Knowing that this conversation would require her full attention and a quiet space, Essay grabbed the walkie-talkie and left Sensé to lead a game of Poopdeck. She went outside and sat on the chair out front, facing the maintenance shop. Gord was by the Laundry room, watching her and awaiting the end of her conversation... waiting to pounce on the opportunity to trick her into helping again. "Essay," John said, drawing her attention back to the conversation at hand, "I need you to switch to Channel 4." She did and he continued. "Some of your kids came up to me at lunch today. What is this I hear about Gord and the gardens?" Essay quickly explained the situation from her perspective. "Okay. I will do what I can, but I'm off property all day today and tomorrow, so I need you to follow the following instructions to the letter. And don't worry - Gord works for me and we will work this out, whether you know how or not. Trust me."
For the next few minutes John Friesen told Essay what needed to be done to keep Gord from abusing his power over them. No sooner did she "Over and Out" than Gord slammed the door of his tell-tale blueish-green car, and walked across the parking lot. "Essay," he began in his quiet, grandfatherly way, "the gardens by Founders Hall are in need of a good weeding and I don't have the labour force to get it done today. Would you mind bringing your kids over and working on the flower beds for a few hours of program this morning?"
Essay cringed. She mustered her bravery together and gulped back the lump of intimidated fear that had grown in her throat. Remembering John's words she looked Gord in the eye. "No, Gord. My kids need to play, not work. They're here to learn and have fun! Please, give us a break for a session and let us go to the beach in peace!" Gord laughed. "Wow, finally standing up to me. How about I make you a deal... you and your kids go weed that garden and wash all of the windows on the ground floor, and we'll call it even for today." Essay blinked back tears and stammered out, "J-j-john says..." but Gord cut her off. "John Friesen's not the boss of me! We all know that I am the one who is keeping this place running. Now, go in there and explain your new responsibilities to all those little junior high kids. And do it with a smile."
Essay went back to RIOT with a smile on her face but with tears in her eyes. She handed out gloves and assigned a wheelbarrow to Giggie and Riggs and Sensé. Spades, shovels, squeegees and spray bottles of a copycat Windex glass cleaner were distributed among the scowling grade sixes, sevens and eights. In a single file line, with Gord waving from the maintenance shed, RIOT trooped down to Founders and worked right until lunchtime.
At noon Essay called John using her walkie-talkie on Channel 4. "John!" she cried. "Gord is being even meaner than usual. Now he's got us washing the windows, for crying out loud!" John, as always, was very calm. "Essay, you're still doing the right thing. I will send in reinforcements, but I'm afraid I'm still at Fair Havens until tomorrow. Tell Gord to knock it off or I'll have Program egg his car."
That evening Gord returned to Treetops with a honey-do list as long as his arm. "Okay, Essay. I thought up a few more things to keep RIOT out of trouble, and I think you might even enjoy the work! Scrubbing down all of the MBC vehicles, or taking out all of the kitchen garbage, or my favourite, cutting the grass with nail clippers! That last one is really just for my own entertainment." Essay got up on her tiptoes, trying to maximize every inch of her potential height. "Gord, you had better stop right there - or John Friesen is going to egg your car."
Gord laughed in her face for a long, long time.
When he finally pulled himself together, he did not even resemble the kindly, Cap'n Crunch loving, elderly man that everyone knew. He looked at her with an icy expression and without even a hint of irony or sarcasm he said, "I am going to make sure you never have another fun program as long as you live."
Essay took the list back into the RIOT room. As she let it drop to the floor, she shut the door behind her. Sensé picked it up and read it to the group. Squeeks stood up and said he thought the list was bogus. Reid and many others nodded quietly. "Well," said Essay, "I hope that John's got something a little more dramatic than egging up his sleeve."
John was indeed planning something far, far more dramatic. With the help of Chief and Wingspan, John not only had Gord's car egged in the middle of the night, but they also toilet papered his house, painted his car pink and yellow, died his hair green, uprooted every last flower in his own personal garden, ate his Cap'n Cruch and drank all but a teaspoon of his milk and set fire to his secret stash of fireworks, wasting them in the forest where only the two of them could see. Chief and Wingspan videotaped the whole thing and sent it to John (and Gord) the next morning.
John was ecstatic, Essay was so nervous her teeth were chattering and Gord was absolutely livid. He fumed over to RIOT headquarters and kicked the door open with one blow - at exactly ten o'clock. "FINE!" he hollered, throwing up his hands and knocking off the baseball cap that was covering the hair that was usually quite white. "TAKE YOUR BEACH DAY! I don't want your help anymore anyway! I never want to see you weed another thing in your lives! And here - here's fifty bucks for ice-cream while you're at it! Now, GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!"
Treetops was suddenly filled with shouts and cheers of joy and excited chaos. Quick as a whip they were packed up and marching boldly down to the waterfront.
It only took Gord about three minutes to realize his error. It was Jaime Brown who pointed out the problem first. "Won't this mean that we'll have to do the work ourselves?"
In a flash Gord had rounded up the entire maintenance department and even some of the gung-ho housekeeping staff. "Everybody grab something with wheels!" Trevor, Kevin and Ernie grabbed tractors. Kyle took a riding mower, Arthur detoured the hayride that was still full of Skippers, and Jamie grabbed a wheelbarrow... but then he swapped it in for a golf cart after Gord hit him upside the head with last year's Brutus stick for making a bad choice. The housekeepers took all of the vehicles with keys in the ignition (which was, not-so-surprisingly, most of them)and Gord lead the charge in his pink and yellow station wagon. The chase was on.
RIOT has been walking to the beach slowly until they heard the all too familiar honk of Gord's vehicle. With one look over her shoulder, Essay screamed "RUN!" and RIOT took off down Hub Hill, tumbling most of the way to the bottom. They were nearly mowed down by the mob of machinery behind them, but Gord's army had come via Founders Hall and was delayed by the chain which only served as a thirty second stall because Gord (of course) had the key. By the time RIOT made it to the Marina's little boat house, Gord was passing the Chip Truck at a frightening pace! Essay screamed frantically into the radio! "JOHN! WE NEED SOME BACK-UP!!!"
Out of nowhere Chief and Wingspan ran with rapid-fire paintball guns, sending weltable splatters of colour in every direction. Both of them were decked out from head to foot in redneck-camouflage-flannel-meets-ninja-stealth-black-leather body suits. They definitely looked intimidating. "Quick!" Chief shouted to Essay, "We've got 1000 paintballs here and then you're on your own again. Get to the canoes! Head for Widji Island!"
Essay hustled the RIOT kids into the canoes while she and Frooger grabbed kayaks. By the time Program ran out of paint they were already out past the floating docks and making good speed. Unfortunately Gord also had a key for the MBC boat. Maintenance and housekeeping held several quick rounds of rock-paper-scissors to decide who got to ride in the boat and everyone else jumped on the banana shaped tube that was trailing along behind it. The not-so-gentle man started his engine and tore onto the lake in hot pursuit.
Just then John Friesen drove Old Man Van across the beach and fishtailed to a stop. In a move that can only be compared to Robin Hood he pulled an arrow back on the string of a large compound bow and let it fly. Program gasped as the arrow pierced a perfect hole right through the motor, causing the engine to flood and the boat to begin to sink. His next arrow shot the tube and sent everyone aboard flying into Mary Lake. When Gord finally swam back to shore John took back all of his keys, fired him and banished him from MBC property forever. RIOT got safely to the island.
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